Do you ever just have one of those days where you get incredibly frustrated at the way the world seems to be working around you?
Today is one of those days for me. I’m getting really disheartened at all the dead ends my job search seems to be taking, and I’ve been glancing at my MacBook’s background between resume uploads and cover letter revisions all day.
I hit the “submit” button on what must have been my 150th job application in the past eight months today. I started applying for a new job in June, and I’m so incredibly disappointed in myself for not having a new place of employment yet, especially since I just finally finished up graduate school and received my master’s degree last month.
Don’t get me wrong – I love my job – but as much as I love it, it’s an entry level position and the paycheck doesn’t really leave much room for anything past basic living expenses. I barely make over minimum wage, and with student loan payments and health insurance costs looming this year, journalism is no longer a lucrative industry for me. My company has gone through bankruptcy a handful of times and I’ve never once been given a performance review or a raise. It’s really disheartening for someone who is just starting off in the workforce. I really want a job I can grow with, not one that tells me I’m lucky that I haven’t been laid off yet.
After a series of interviews last fall, I received a job offer in November for a full-time position in the state’s capitol with amazing benefits that was also about a 30 percent increase over what I make now. The job was a perfect on paper – a combination of both of my degrees and on the exact track I want to get my career on with a heavy focus in government communications.
But, I turned it down. For reasons I don’t want to delve into too much, I had a bad feeling about it and thought the position would compromise my morals too much for my liking.
I though that, for sure, that I would have to have some good karma coming my way after that decision.
But, no. I was turned down for the next two jobs I interviewed for and didn’t get any call backs on any of the other roughly 50 applications I submitted after that November offer.
So much for karma.
Sometimes it’s hard to keep a positive outlook when everything seems to be going wrong. Shortly after turning down the job offer, I totaled my car and got hit with a very large medical bill. Obviously, my savings account took a huge hit, and then the ever-expensive holidays snuck up. I took thousands of dollars out of my savings account to pay for all these expenses. I used up the student loan refund I had been counting on utilizing for post-grace period loan payments, and maxed out both of my credit cards, causing my credit score to massively tank.
I can’t even tell you how many times since November I’ve thought to myself “I should have taken that job.”
Even though I know, deep down, that I did the right thing by turning the offer down.
It’s really disheartening to know that you’re putting everything you have to offer on the table, and nobody seems to be interested in picking it up because there’s always someone better, someone more qualified, someone more educated, someone with better experience.
I try to remind myself of all my accomplishments since high school on days like today, and that I need to work even harder than I have been to accomplish my dreams, hence the MacBook wallpaper.
Good things come to those who hustle.
There is a good fit for me out there. It might be application no. 200. It might be application no. 550. I just have to keep pushing through.
What do you do to motivate yourself when you feel like your best is not enough? Let me know in the comments and I’ll give it a try.
