I love traveling alone. Love it. LOVE IT. Love it more than traveling with family, love it more than traveling with friends… it’s my favorite, hands down. I’ve been very vocal about this. It’s not a surprise.
But, as much as I love traveling alone… sometimes, it can get a little awkward and uncomfortable.
Let me say really quickly — sometimes, discomfort is good. I mean, there’s a reason we always talk about going beyond our comfort zones. It’s how we find personal growth. It’s how we overcome our obstacles and push past our boundaries.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with being uncomfortable on occasion.
But sometimes? It just sucks. Especially if you’re traveling! Odds are, you’re already waaayyy outside your comfort zone dealing with language barriers, unfamiliar foods, foreign customs — hell, you are quite literally outside of your actual, geographical comfort zone.
So, if you’re already pretty uncomfortable, it’s definitely more than OK to try to minimize that discomfort a little bit. There’s really no sense in absolutely torturing yourself for the sake of “personal growth.”
When it comes to getting over the awkwardness of traveling solo, you essentially have two options: Keep yourself company, or find company to keep!
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BE COMFORTABLE ON YOUR OWN: FAKE IT TIL YOU MAKE IT!
Honestly, so much of spending your time alone while traveling just comes down to persevering despite how awkward you feel. Odds are, nobody even notices that you’re a solo traveler. But, it’s still natural to want to ease that discomfort. Here are a few quick tips to do that while you’re alone.
Blend in — and maybe wear headphones. If you dress like a typical “tourist” — think: fanny pack, bulky Merrell shoes, generic cargo travel pants, etc. — you’re going to stand out a little more than you would if you just wore everyday streetwear that conforms to your destination. And, not that there’s anything wrong with standing out, but when you’re traveling alone? Odds are, you’re already going to feel a bit self-conscious, and feeling like you stand out only amplifies the discomfort.
When I travel, I wear the normal outfits I’d wear either to work, or while running errands. It helps me feel more comfortable because I like to pretend that if other tourists/ locals see me walking down the street wearing jeans and headphones, they don’t spot me and think “lonely single girl traveling by herself,” but rather “local girl running some quick errands in the city center.” On that note…
Pretend you’re a local. Seriously. This sounds kind of silly, but wherever you are — people live there! Imitate them. It’s all about the mentality. I mean, think about it. I live in Chicago — one of the biggest tourist destinations in the country. Obviously, I walk around Chicago by myself all the damn time, because I live here. I’ve got errands to run and a job to commute to! I’ve never once felt awkward walking alone along Michigan Ave. or sitting alone along the Lakefront Trail because I freakin’ live here! This is my home!
…Just carry that same mentality over when you travel solo. Think about what you do back home alone and why that doesn’t make you feel awkward, and then translate that reassuring feeling to your new surroundings. Bonus? People might actually assume you’re a local, too! I’m stopped and asked for directions 80 percent more when I’m alone vs. when I’m with somebody — no matter what city I’m in.
Ditch the tourist traps for a bit. Obviously, there’s nothing wrong with tourist traps and you’re going to want to see them, I’m sure. However, if you’re feeling particularly lonely, going somewhere that caters toward groups — like beer gardens, amusement parks or dinner cruises — is only going to amplify that feeling.
Take a break from the tourist traps. Instead, go back to that “what would a local do” mindset and head off the beaten path for a bit. Drop into a sandwich shop, hit up a street festival, stroll through neighborhoods. Think to yourself “What would someone living here do by themselves” and do that. Recharge for a bit, and then tackle the public monuments and museums swarming with groups of tourists.
Find a way to keep yourself company. For me, dining is always the most awkward part of traveling solo. I’ve found a few ways to get around that. If you have a list of sit-down restaurants you’d like to eat at, go to those for breakfast or lunch when the atmosphere is more casual, and try to snag a bar seat so you don’t feel quite so vulnerable with an empty seat in front of you. (Bonus: Dining solo and sitting at the bar often means you get to skip the long wait. Win!)
Hotel restaurants are also a great bet — there are bound to be tons of other solo travelers so you won’t feel quite so out of place.
If you’re eating alone — and I cannot stress this enough — carry a Kindle, book, newspaper, or something to entertain yourself with. I’ll always keep my Kindle in my day pack or crossbody so I can read while I’m dining alone or riding a bus/ train by myself. Having a book to read (or pretend to read, even) makes me feel so much less awkward while dining solo in public.
Carryout is another option, too. Grab your dinner to go and have a solo picnic at a park, or just take your food back to your Airbnb.
MAKE SOME FRIENDS
OK, so if you’re really and truly over the whole “entertain yourself” thing, it’s perfectly OK to find people to spend your vacation time with. Travel friendships are incredibly unique in their own way. You get to build a short-term and uninhibited relationship with someone, and then — thanks to social media — you have the option to stay in touch. And? You never know where those friendships will lead! There’s a good chance you’ll end up seeing those friends again in the future, actually.
So here’s how to make those friends.
(I truly can’t emphasize this enough: Stay in touch, if you’re able.)
Head to a hostel bar. I know I sing the praises of hostels again and again, but I truly do love them for solo travel. They’re one of the best ways of meeting other solo travelers, who are likely feeling somewhat awkward and lonely as well. If you haven’t booked a stay at a hostel, head to a hostel anyway. Most hostels have bars, so find one that’s public and go make friends IRL.
Try an app. There are tons of apps that are made for connecting solo travelers with others! One of my favorites is Couchsurfing. I host Couchsurfers at my apartment (You can read my Chicago Tribune article about it here!) and I’ve had a few of them tell me they love the app’s “Hangouts” feature. You can open it and connect with other solo travelers who are also trying to not be awkward and lonely. Another great app is Meetup, which — while it isn’t exclusively for travelers — is a great way of finding people with similar interests who want to meet up.
Also, I haven’t personally done it, but I have friends who used dating apps like Tinder and Bumble (BFF) to connect with people while traveling, both romantically and platonically.
Force yourself to say “hi.” In whatever language, of course. Just do it! It’s only uncomfortable and awkward the first few times you approach a stranger to start up a conversation, and then it gets easier from there! If you’re feeling weird about just up and starting a conversation, try offering to take a photo or asking for a travel recommendation.
Important note: If you’re being friendly and approaching strangers to strike up conversation, be very cognizant of your presence and its effect. Pay very close to body language and non-verbal cues. If someone is wearing headphones and ignores you, or turns away quickly, or avoids eye contact, or gives any other non-verbal indication they aren’t interested in conversing, do not force an interaction for your own personal benefit.
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OK, so there you have it! All the tips I have for getting over the whole traveling-alone-and-feeling-awkward thing. Seriously, though. This whole post was probably way too long and can be summed up in seven words: “Get over it and bring a book.” The more you force yourself outside your comfort zone, the wider that zone gets… and the easier it is to adapt to things.
Do you have any tips? I’d love to hear them!
