I hooopeee you guys are ready for today’s post, because it’s a topic I’m really excited about:
Couchsurfing!
I’ve offhandedly mentioned a few times that I absolutely adore the Couchsurfing website/ app. While I have yet to actually couchsurf myself, I’ve been hosting couchsurfers at my little Chicago apartment for two summers now.
ICYMI, I even wrote a story about Couchsurfing hosts here in Chicago for the Tribune. It’s one of my favorite pieces to date.
But, I’ve never really gone in depth with my involvement in the app/ site. As much as I really want to share with you all of the amazing experiences I’ve had with my couchsurfers, I feel like it wouldn’t really be fair to violate their privacy, and I’m still trying to figure out how I can write about my personal relationship with Couchsurfing in a way that doesn’t do that.
While I figure out exactly how to go about doing that, I’m taking a different approach. I still want to write about Couchsurfing because it’s something I truly love and am so passionate about, so I’m starting with some “how to” guides, per say. I’m often asked about my involvement and have had a few people — both IRL and strangers on Couchsurfing — reach out to ask me if they’re doing this whole thing right.
I figured I’d give an answer!
So, what makes me an expert? Honestly, not much. But after fielding hundreds of requests and vetting dozens of profiles for more than a year, I now know what I’m looking for as a host. I get somewhere between 15-20 requests a day to crash on my couch. That’s not an exaggeration. So, it’s safe to say, I am at slight liberty to be picky with who I accept. I’ll make no apologies for it — this is my home, and if your profile is one giant red flag (lookin’ at you, “Russian” women with one photo, zero references and a really cryptic request message) I am gonna deny, deny, deny.
So, what makes me approve?
When I receive a request, there are a few things I take into consideration. If I’m denying a request, it’s (usually) for one of three reasons:
- I’m simply not available for whatever reason.
- Your profile isn’t filled out, you have no references and you look sketchy AF.
- Your request really, really sucked.
No. 1 is pretty obvious. If I’m not available, I’m not available. Maybe my apartment is undergoing maintenance, maybe I’m out of town, maybe I just plain don’t want to host people for a weekend — who knows. Anyway, it’s something that you have no control over. So, let’s focus on No. 2 and No. 3: Your profile and your request! You have total control over both of these, so let’s exercise that control in these two areas.
YOUR PROFILE
The biggest piece advice I have for you here is to be honest, straight-forward and sincere when filling out your profile. And be thorough! Don’t be shy when it comes to talking about yourself. If I’m preparing to let you into my home, I’m gonna want to know EVERYTHING there is to know about you. Put it out there! Talk about who you are, what you do, why you’re on Couchsurfing, what you love. Fill out all the sections. As a host, I’d rather see too much info than not enough info. Plus — couchsurfers are fascinating people. Odds are pretty good that I’ll read your entire profile, top-to-bottom, because you’re probably way more interesting than you think!
And, truly: Be honest. Don’t list things just because you think it’s what a potential host wants to read. If you prattle on about how you just love to socialize, but in actuality, you’re pretty introverted? It’s just going to catch your host completely off-guard, and could possibly lead to a less-than-amazing experience for both the guest and the host. All types of people flock to Couchsurfing, so never assume you should play the role of flirty and outgoing just because. Always be honest.
Here are a few snippets from my Couchsurfing profile for reference.
Some more tips:
- Upload photos of yourself — and show your face! No silhouette shots, no artsy back-to-the-camera-facing-the-ocean shots, no pixelated sunglass shots… upload a photo of you. And upload multiples! I want to be 100 percent sure that you are a real person, photographed doing real things, and that you are not a Russian bot with a profile pic yanked straight from Google Images.
- Upload photos of your couch and fill out the “my home” details tab — even if you’re not currently hosting guests. It sounds a little strange, but from a host’s perspective, it’s comforting. It helps me to see that you also have a home and house rules, because it assures me that you’re more likely to respect my home and follow my house rules.
- Wondering whether to go for verification? Ehhh… in my opinion, it’s probably not worth it. (Tip: You get three free months of verification for hosting, so if you can host, do that instead of paying!) As a host, I’m much more likely to look at your references rather than your verification status. However, if you’re new to Couchsurfing and are struggling to build up references, paid verification might help. The financial commitment lets other members of the Couchsurfing community know that you’re serious about the community and want to become an active part of it.
- And, speaking of references — collect them! Don’t be shy about asking for them, either. And always, always give them. It’s often pretty hard to get started on Couchsurfing without a slew of positive references, but don’t give up hope! Everyone started somewhere. Start by hosting if you’re able, to build up positive references. If you’re unable to do that, attend a Couchsurfing event to start wiggling your way into this amazing little community. If all else fails, have some friends or family members write references for you.
YOUR REQUEST
Alright! Your photos are uploaded, your “about me” is full, you’ve listed out every preference you can possibly imagine with absolute clarity.
Now, it’s time to start drafting requests!
There are two types of Couchsurfing requests: Requests to host, or requests to stay. We’re gonna focus on writing a really good request to stay. This is high stakes, people!
Like I said, I get more than a dozen requests to stay every day. I reject about 80 percent of those without even looking at the Couchsurfer’s profile. Why? They’re generic, boring, bland and sometimes even borderline offensive.
Let’s start with the mediocre-to-bad!
…Ya see what I mean?
Look. If you haven’t gotten it by now, Couchsurfing is not about finding a free place to stay — although that is admittedly a huge perk. Couchsurfing is about building friendships and relationships through culture exchange. It’s an entire community of travel-loving people who are (mostly) adventurous and trustworthy. It’s pretty freakin badass!
Now, here’s an example of some of the good messages, the requests that made me hit that accept button super super fast thinking “OMG THIS IS GONNA BE A GREAT TIME LET’S GOOOO.”
See what I mean? These are requests tailored to me. These are from people who are not looking for a free stay on my free couch for free, but people who are looking to stay with Randi the semi-interesting looking human in Chicago… which just happens to be free.
So, here are some tips to help you write the greatest Couchsurfing request EVER.
- Personalize your request, but don’t pander. You don’t need to talk me up and tell me I’m the coolest person ever (cause, uh, we all know I’m not), but give me some indication you’ve looked at my profile. Mention a destination in a photo I’ve uploaded, comment on one of my hobbies, tell me you’d like to learn more about my profession — whatever! Find common ground and then go from there. I basically just want to know this isn’t a copy-and-paste message you’ve sent to 30 other people.
- Look for a code word or question. Several Couchsurfers include a “code word” or a question they’d like you to include/ answer in your request message to them, as an indication you’ve read their profiles. Not everyone does this, but some do. Regardless, you should be reading their profiles anyway!
- Consider mentioning a plan for your time in my city. Are you here for a concert? A conference? A layover? A three-day vacation with no concrete agenda? I don’t need your entire itinerary, but knowing why you’re looking to stay here will help me determine whether I can meet your needs.
- Mention what you can offer your host. (Note: THIS IS NOT MONEY.) This is something like, “I’d love to cook you a meal from my country,” or “I’d love to help you practice your Spanish,” or “I’d love to teach you how to play the guitar,” or even “I’d love to talk to you about traveling over a cup of tea.” Hosts are offering their homes to you for free — what can you offer them in return? (Again: NOT MONEY. NEVER MONEY.)
- Consider your timing. Benjamin Franklin once said “fish and visitors stink after three days,” and that’s some pretty good advice to adhere to. I’ve had potential Couchsurfers send me requests for 16 days (!!!) straight. Um… no. No no no no. I am not a free hotel, and I am definitely not a free apartment unit! Try to limit your request to a few nights. If you’re staying in a host’s city for longer, no big deal — just request a stay with another Couchsurfing host (yay for more new friends!) or find other accommodations.
- Don’t stress about the language barrier. Truly. So many members of Couchsurfing are part of this community because they love experiencing different cultures, and we are all realistic enough to know that often comes with communication barriers. As long as you come across as genuine, caring and positive, potential hosts will overlook grammar mistakes and broken English. We’re not expecting literature here, just simple communication.
OK, well! That’s what I’ve got for ya today! Have you tried Couchsurfing? Or do you think you’ll give it a try now? LMK in the comments!
Surf’s up, travelers!
