I mean, yeah. The title pretty much says it all.
You mean you haven’t ever been last-minute invited to a stranger’s mountaintop elopement that required you to off-road your brand new vehicle across five-plus miles of rough terrain?
No? That’s just me? Well.
It all started when my coworker Jane fielded a request from a bride-to-be at the end of the week.
The bride, Felicia, and her husband were living that whole hashtag-vanlife lifestyle. They had made it to Sedona, and wanted to elope in Arizona that weekend.
Because Felicia is super dope, she’d called our front desk to ask if there were any permit requirements for an elopement in the Coconino National Forest.
She also wanted to know — did we happen to have a witness on hand for her wedding? Arizona law required two witnesses, and Felicia and her fiancé were only traveling with two other individuals: witness No. 1, and their licensed officiant.
Because Jane is the friendliest and most helpful human ever, she immediately volunteered to serve as a witness.
On Saturday morning, she called and asked if I wanted to join. When she’d called Felicia to confirm the details of the elopement, Felicia gave the location.
“By the way,” she added, “the road’s a little rough. Do you happen to have a Jeep?”
It’s OK. Part of the reason I bought the Jeep was to make friends.
So, Jane called me up. It’s not like I had anything else to do, so sure. Off to Sedona!
We got to the location we thought the elopement was at, but it turns out, there was a little bit of a miscommunication.
We thought we were supposed to be at the Schnebly Hill Vista Observation Site, but we were actually supposed to head to the Schnebly Hill Vista Overlook.
The difference between the two places? Roughly five miles and 45-minutes of rough terrain that was NOT passable without 4WD, a high-clearance vehicle and a short wheel base.
Three points for the Jeep Wrangler!
So… we went off-roading!
I’m gonna be honest… I was terrified. It was my first time ever using 4WD, and we were on this road with tons of other Jeeps (including the Sedona-based Pink Jeep Tours), ORVs and ATVs. Plus, I was driving a brand new roughly $45,000 vehicle. It was three weeks old and I hadn’t even made the first payment on it yet!
I’d never shifted my Jeep into 4WD before, and so Jane and I panicked about three minutes in because my Wrangler would not shift. We spent several minutes Googling and reading the owner manual trying to figure out why my Jeep wouldn’t move into 4L.
Turns out, it’s just because it was brand new and stiff. It took ALL my body weight to shift into 4WD, and I was convinced I was going to break my Jeep. Now, it’s much easier.
Once I stopped panicking about OH MY GOD I’M GOING TO BREAK MY NEW JEEP AND WE’RE RUNNING LATE… Jane and I had so much flipping fun.
We were laughing and screaming and smiling and rocking back and forth. All my stuff fell off my dashboard and out of my center console. My Jeep was covered in dirt and dust. All the other drivers were smiling and laughing too. It was a blast.
Also, everyone returned my Jeep Wave. Love this cult.
We ended up making it up to the wedding about half an hour late (sorry, Felicia!) and then we got to it.
Jane and I helped with photos and talked to Felicia a little bit. Then, the ceremony, more photos (the couple even asked us to pose for some of them — seriously, they were so sweet!), the signing of the marriage license (aka, the whole reason Jane was called in for duty) and then, about an hour later, that was it.
Felicia joked about how their reception was Clif Bars in the back of their van. It was a really low-key and adorable elopement.
So, Jane and I headed back down Schnebly Hill. We weren’t as stressed this time because we weren’t running late without cellphone service, and we knew we could get my Jeep through the trail.
I think the funniest part of the drive was the part where — about 20 minutes in — I joked “Jane, where’s my Jeep Badge of Honor?!”
Later that night, I did some Googling… and as it turns out, Schnebly Hill is literally the only Jeep “Badge of Honor” trail in the entire state of Arizona.
I freaking shit you not.
I about died laughing.
So, that’s an experience for the books! I’m fine, Jane’s fine, my Jeep is fine and the adventure was a TON of fun.
Also, you can never, ever call Liz a mall crawler again. I’m gonna get the actual Badge of Honor to stick on her to shut all the haters up. She’s still stock (cut me some slack, I haven’t even made the first payment yet!) but she’s capable AF.
Jeep Wave, and out!
This post was originally published Jan. 22, 2021. Its timestamp has been updated.
